People with herpes should wear stickers.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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