Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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