somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
