You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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