glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
