im drinking this country out of the recession.
thus making me awesome and them whores
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
