I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
