If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
