is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
