did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize