my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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