is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
