suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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