I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
accomplished twins. life is a go
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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