Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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