drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize