well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize