I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
