Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
