from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
The air taste purple.
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