West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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