i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
