Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize