Only a mothe r could love this liver
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
