Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
