how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
