Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
