Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
