I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
