i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
