There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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