anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
