Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
