I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
