new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
