I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
