eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
