You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
