It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You took a bar mat shot.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
