Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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