We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
