Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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