She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
