ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
