Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
