I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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