I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
