My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
