isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
