two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
