he puts the penis in happiness.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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