I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
