hell yes lets make some ravioli
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You are the jesus of drinking
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize