We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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