She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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