He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
