her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He did a backflip because drugs
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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