I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
