Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
