i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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