my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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