His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
