the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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