I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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