I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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