Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
