Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize